There’s a certain combination of feelings you get when you visit old friends. You are so happy to see them, and you have so much to talk about, filling each other in on what’s come and gone from their lives. If you’re used to only seeing them briefly, you know that time is precious and there is no point wasting time with little, unimportant talks. But then, you also compare your life to theirs. You wonder if their life is better or worse, and who is happier. You don’t mean to put down your friend, or yourself, but when you notice the things that are great for them you can’t help but wonder: would I be happier in their shoes?
I felt this last night, seeing my old college roommate for the first time in a long time. Her next exciting thing is to move into the city, because she wants it to be easier to date and go out. On one hand I envy her, she has a good paying job and is settled into her life, clearly doing what is usual for a 20 something living in the city, but on the other hand I wonder if her job is where she imagined herself to be. I guess in your 20s your job doesn’t necessarily correlate to your career.
It makes me wonder if living in my parents’ home is a good choice, after 6 years of living on my own. I wonder if I would be happier – more social maybe, if I had ventured to somewhere else. But I guess, planning is good in this instance. I can do what I need to do (despite the emotional consequences) to go where I want to go.